Barbaro

Now it has gone from baffling to surreal. I mean, c'mon: a horse that won only one big race is makes the cover of both papers this morning? Retarded. Listen people:

First of all, it isn't like these animals lead any kind of life of pleasure. I like to gamble, I bet on the ponies at the Turf Club, all the time, but the fact is, these creatures are so overdosed with steroids, growth hormones and whatever other concoctions humanly conjurable, that they literally cannot help but to bolt out of the gate when it opens. I know more than one former jockey, that's what they tell me, and I believe them. So any of you nitwits out there that are leaving carrots and roses over at Barbaro's grave, please stop. If you care that much, go to the track instead. The animals there need your attention much more than a dead one. Second of all, if you try and tell me that he was some kind of a "fighter" or a "hero" or whatever, I'm going to say: stop being silly. Let's reserve those terms for those who have actively served in the line of duty. It was a horse. A racehorse. It did not experience emotion any more than the chicken salad sandwich I'll be having for lunch later today has any emotion. Stop projecting your own twisted senses of compassion and failure on the incognizant. Stop living your lives through a horse. Please.

And if you are one of these PETA people, if you believe that all animals have emotion or whatever, well, believe what you want. I'm not gonna try and stop you. But I am going to point out to you the following: where does it end? I mean, in any form of vegetation, there are billions of microorganisms that belong to the animal kingdom. Let alone that and consider the Venus flytrap. I don't know if it has a brain or not or is capable of any emotion or imagination, but that plant sure seems clever to me. Humans? Go deep enough into the Amazon and hang out with some cannibals, then come and tell me (assuming they haven't eaten you) that they are screwed up. I don't know, I've never met one, but I'm not going to judge anyone's lifestyle choices without at least meeting them first. Me, I'm just gonna stay here in Philly where is is reasonably safe, well, sort of, and do my chicken wing thing.

And since this particular equine is dominating headlines, I have to point out that it is the media, not religion, but the media, which is the opiate of the masses. Religion has had it's time and place and all, but who besides the willfully misguided goes to church or temple or the mosque anymore? And everyone I know watches television. So develop whatever conspiracy theories you want on your own, but, in my opinion, most of you are being fed lies and are deluded, lies which, I might add, you happily consume like so many Happy Meals. I mean c'mon, over 400 murders last year here in Philadelphia alone, and we're having a state funeral for a freaking horse. He wasn't even Mr. Ed! Or Trigger! Or Lassie! Or Rin Tin TIn! I mean, what?!?!?? To quote the great Mugato, "Is everyone taking crazy pills?!?!?!"

Anyway, my final recommendation to you all is, next time it is on special at Le Bec Fin, try le chevalier. Pretty good stuff when you can get it. Yummy, in fact.